For several decades I've had a slight movement disorder in my right hand. It stems from overuse, I think, but overuse paired with some sort of genetic predisposition and also probably erroneous technique in writing and drawing from early on, way back when. When I was a child, my Dad told me I was holding the pencil too tight and I dismissed this remark as criticism. What did he know about drawing? Well, this leads me to the other part of this thing. The will/drive to control. This is part of my personality and it's not all bad. We need to exercise some control in this life or we are helpless flotsam, right? Anyway, years later I was diagnosed by a neurologist as having focal dystonia in my right hand. Aka "the yips". The mapping of the fingers in the brain apparently get all kind of smeared together. So for a while now, I've been slowly, patiently, gently learning to write and draw with my left hand. Every step of the way, trying to be mindful not to hold the pencil in a death grip. I've been watching videos by Akiko Tsukamoto Trush, a pianist with focal dystonia and this is helping me make peace with this and come up with strategies I hope will help, at least a little. I've also been inspired by the artist Phil Hansen, and his TED talk "Embrace the Shake", and I'm finding the beauty of squiggly, eccentric mark making and seeing beauty in what is.